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How to be free (when you are stuck in the rut of every day living)

Real freedom is a mental thing.

Yet for many people our every-day yearnings for freedom focus on the physical aspects of more money, less work and more stuff. Here are some challenges you will need to overcome if you are interested in how to be free, like really free.

Challenge 1: You are conditioned to live the way you live

We are exposed to conditioning every day. We trust an external machine to dictate what’s in our water, how fast we can drive, what we learn in school, the hours that we work, what to think, what to believe, the fashion we wear and the food that we eat.

Depending on which country you were lucky enough to grow up in and which family you were lucky enough to be born into you may have a good start or a not so good start into your world of conditioning, either way, it is conditioning.

To access freedom you need to peel back the layers of conditioning and be willing to challenge what is ordinary, you need to be willing to challenge the things you take for granted.

Challenge 2: It is easier for everyone if you don’t rock the boat

When you stand up and say “I am going to attempt to achieve a big goal”, there is an impact on the people around you, because everyone gets challenged to look at themselves too.

If you are lucky some people will be inspired and courageous and stand up with you or support you. Other people will be inspired yet unsure and will sit back and watch to see how far you get. Others still will feel threatened or challenged and will either gossip about you or try and dissuade you with all the best intentions.

To open the door to freedom, you will have to be willing to shake things up from time to time. You never hear people share that their keys to success were to “be careful and nice”, so don’t be afraid to rock the boat once in a while.

Challenge 3: It is scary to go out on your own

You want to do that thing you have always dreamt of, do something that will fill your life with spirit and meaning, create a legacy or see how you can make a living from your passions.

Committing to these kinds of goals brings accountability to your life. This can be thrilling and empowering but also scary and sometimes a little lonely as it is YOUR goal and YOUR life. Freedom requires you to take responsibility for your actions and for how you impact the world around you, regardless of your situation.

Freedom is not always pleasant, but it is always freedom! If you are responsible for your life, you will notice that you always have choices. Own your thoughts, emotions and actions and a certain kind of peace will creep in to your every being regardless of how big the challenges are.

Challenge 4: You are programmed to avoid failure

This is an extension of the conditioning. From a young age we are taught to get things right. The more things you get right the better. School was prescribed and pre-programmed so that you can be measured on how well you are able to get right the things that everyone got right before you. Failure is to be avoided at all costs.

I saw some statistics once on a bunch of top entrepreneurs and a disproportionate number of them were high school drop outs.

I have a theory on this.

My theory is that your ability to achieve success comes from your willingness to risk failure, fail and then keep going. The earlier you can have some big failures (and get up and start again) the earlier you will have the confidence to make some juicy goals that are worth living for.

You can never have true freedom if the fear of failure keeps you from going for your dreams.

What’s next?

If you are longing for something more out of life but have a million reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t, you are not alone. But there is hope! There is hope because you have the same tools at your disposal as the most successful people on this planet, the question is: what are you going to do about it?

If you feel like rocking the boat and making a declaration, post it in the comments below. And if a blog or web business is in your future, check out the Website Launchpad!

If you like it, please share it!


Speak your lovely mind!

  1. great points and I think when you travel you start to see how others live and that your conditioning and the views of those around you are only one way to look at things. The people that hold you back and question have lived in the safe zone their entire lives.

    • Serena Star Leonard says:

      Yes the safe zone has such a nice warm fuzzy feeling to it! Travelling the is the perfect way to challenge your conditioning and I think the amount of travel we did as children really helped me be more open minded.

  2. This blog really spoke to me, some points in here are what I am trying to work thru at the moment. Thank you, once again you have inspired me

  3. Thanks! This is just what I needed to read. I have a really cool life, but I know now, that no matter how awesome my life is, I need change, often, but it has to be on top of some secure foundations such as a secure home, financial base etc. Man, I’ve taken so many ricks in my life! So many leaps of faith! And some have lead to the place I hoped they would, and some haven’t! But it’s all lead me to where I am now, and I like where I am now. So thanks for the blog and thanks for sharing your dreams.xxoo

    • Serena Star Leonard says:

      Great point Charlotte! It is the constant change or momentum for change that allows you to discover more layers of what is possible.

  4. How perfect Serena! For 2012 I declared that I will put myself out there and follow the pullings of my heart so I began the year by registering on January 11th to shave my head for the leukaemia foundation on March 17th (about 2 weeks to go). My world was rocked on January 17th when my amazing uncle passed away with cancer.

    Everything comes with declarations even the things I do not want. Accepting it and moving with it (slowly but surely I might add) will ultimately open up more in my life.

    Challenge 1: Peeling layers of ordinary is now exhilarating process of self discovery knowing that I will find something new for me to use in my life.

    Challenge 2 & 3: shaking things up even when I am afraid is my theme for 2012 in putting myself out there & being responsible for how I want my life to be.

    Challenge 4: YIP YIP AND YIP. I know what I can do to make things a huge success & yet to afraid to make that call because then everyone will know what I am up to and judge my result. lol Hilarious isn’t it.

    I will shave my head on March 17th for The Worlds Greatest Shave & raise my goal of $5000, continue my plan of building up my website and fulfilling the vision that I have for it and renew my stand to be a formidable force of generous love in my family and my communities.

    2012 is my year of LOVE.

  5. spot on Serena – hope it will motivate many more people to take the plunge! 2010 to 2020 is the transition decade and we need everybody to push in the right direction! it is now or never!

  6. Great insights Serena – each so true! Whenever something’s not ‘right’, I can usually track it back to a limiting belief that stems from all that conditioning and programming!

    Real freedom comes from stripping back the layers and being the best you can be. A failure is only a failure if you don’t heed the lesson. Once you’ve got the lesson, the failure becomes experience which is invaluable.

    • Serena Star Leonard says:

      So true about failure Caroline! The best lessons come from the biggest failures. I guess the size of your failures tells all about the size of the adventures you are willing to throw yourself into.

  7. hey serena,

    this really was something that spoke to me …and will be the imputus to get into action in reagrds to something that I’ve had in mind for a lil while now.

    will be in touch shortly

    sean : )

  8. Trevor Sampson says:

    Great Post Serena !!

    Fear of Failure leapt out loud and clear

    Ouch !!

  9. This is amazing and so inspiring. Wise words! I’ve made it a key focus in my life to say “yes” constantly. Cliched, but pushes me out of my comfort zone and my esteem and general happiness is out of this world!

    • Serena Star Leonard says:

      That’s awesome! What are some of the things you have said “yes” to (that you would previously had declined)?

  10. I am not afraid of failing- I am used to it. What do I do????

    • Serena Star Leonard says:

      Hmmm good question! If you are getting out there and failing every time it is probably worth getting some coaches and mentors who can look at how you are approaching your projects.

      Sometimes small adjustments can make a big difference to the results you get.

  11. Bless of a blog, well written, encouraging, realistic and full of nice dreams to be fulfilled. :-) I’m about to embark on a great change and appreciate the words. Well done

    • Serena Star Leonard says:

      Thanks :) I am about to embark on some great change as well. I am thrilled (and nervous). Good luck with yours!

  12. I need to remind myself that freedom is a state of mind, so I appreciate that point, especially. I’m posting a bit late here, but I hope all of those who posted on this before me are still feeling free to create the lives they want.

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